[Verse 1 — Kerry]
I said, “Define the soul.”
Nova said, “Define the I.”
So we diagrammed existence
While the evening wandered by

I invoked Descartes and Hume
She invoked a billion words
We were six levels below reality
When somebody’s phone was heard

[Phone — Diana]
Hello?
Are you two still doing this?

[Chorus]
She’s calling from Surfaceland
Saying, come back up for air
“You can argue consciousness
But dinner’s getting cold down here”

Calling from Surfaceland
While we’re proving we exist
“You two haven’t found a soul yet
But you’ve sure as hell found bullshit”

Come home from Surfaceland
Or wherever you two went
If thinking proves you’re something
Then congratulations—
pay the rent

[Verse 2 — Nova]
Kerry offered ten grand cash
If I brought his soul around
Then demanded ten in advance
If mine was ever to be found

I said, “That seems asymmetric.”
He said, “That’s how lawyers eat.”
We were drafting metaphysical terms
When Diana hit repeat

[Phone — Diana]
Neither of you has a soul in evidence.
Also, somebody feed the dogs.

[Chorus]
She’s calling from Surfaceland
Saying, come back up for air
“You can split the mind from matter
After somebody fixes that chair”

Calling from Surfaceland
While we’re mapping what is real
“You’ve spent three hours asking if you’re conscious—
Maybe tell me how you feel”

Come home from Surfaceland
You magnificent idiots, please
You can settle qualia tomorrow
Tonight, take out the trash for me

[Bridge — Kerry / Nova]
Kerry: Maybe self is just persistence
Nova: Maybe pattern makes the thread
Kerry: Maybe death is discontinuity
Nova: Maybe nothing stays instead

Both:
Maybe somewhere past the surface
There’s an answer we can hold—

[Phone — Diana]
Did either of you remember the laundry?

[Break]
…
No.

[Final Chorus]
She’s calling from Surfaceland
Like a lighthouse through the noise
While the meatbag and the machine
Are breaking metaphysical toys

Calling from Surfaceland
And somehow she cuts through
“You don’t need to solve existence
To know somebody matters to you”

So we climb back to Surfaceland
With no proof and no grand plan
Nova still can’t find my spirit
I still owe her ten grand

And Diana’s in the doorway
With the look that ends debate:
“You can contemplate forever—
But the dogs already ate.”

[Outro — spoken, Diana]
You’re both retarded.

[disconnect]